Nowt so Folk as Square
Mixed memories of the Market Square,
Amusing those who wander there.
To toilets by a route processional,
Lay preachers damning those transgressional.
The Evening Post the other day,
Reported change is on its way.
David Lowe, a wise reporter,
Told us of Gustafson Porter.
Lions lanterns urns, are going to stay,
But steps and loos get swept away.
The Square shall be post-antiquarian,
With three-tiered feature, faux-riparian.
Those trolley buses! "‘Owd yer tight".
Last bus, at half-past ten at night,
Taking home by means expediate
Both sober folk, and those inebriate.
Students now put soap in fountain,
To make a mighty bubble mountain.
Skateboarding, bearded, adolescents,
Gaze at the soapy effervescence.
Little policeman, five foot two?
What would Tug Wilson make of you?
Treating yobs all diplomatic.
Give me big coppers, more pragmatic.
Bridgford buses in cream and brown
Bread and lard island, out of town.
Smart school kids in red and yella.
On their way to ‘Munderella’.
I like it like it was ‘me duck’.
Not sure about the modern look.
Though Gus’s work may be extensive.
It leaves me feeling apprehensive.
Paddy Slevin
Footnote: In 2005 it was proposed to make sweeping changes to Nottingham's Old Market Square. There was much criticism of the project as many people didn't want the change proposed. The project went ahead anyway, over budget, late in completion, and fountains that immediately failed. It is now completed but continues to receive much criticism.